Save Me
by LovelyRose5001
Summary: Have you ever felt dead inside? Broken beyond any repair? Confused as to why you're still alive? If you haven't then you've found your place in the world. Then you've never wanted to die because you hate yourself so much.  I've felt all of these.


Disclaimer: I do not own Yu Yu Hakusho. I only own Amara and Rin along with her children. I hope you enjoy this!

Name: Amara

Age: looks 17 but is 436 years old.

Personality: very quiet, nice, caring, very self-loathing. She believes she isn't worth the trouble and never asks for anything. If she is hurt, emotionally or physically, she won't tell anyone. She only stays alive for the team if it weren't for them she would have killed herself the day they saved her.

Looks: short light purple hair with bangs that hang on the side of her face. Has bright gold eyes and has a pale complexion. Stands about 5'0 and weighs 110 pounds. She has an hourglass figure and seems very frail and innocent. She has brown cat ears and tail but her tail has a bell on it while her ears have bells attached to them as well. Or: .net/img/166365

Wears: a black thigh high skirt that has two layers that fan out with a white border along with a black corset that has white on the bottom border and white borders along the chest along with a red bow in the center of the chest area. The sleeves are only about 2 inches and have a white border on the top and bottom and then the rest of it is long sleeved with a white border at the end. She also wears a black cloth chocker that has a white border on the top and bottom. Also she wears black stockings that have a white border at the top. She has a black headband with a white border on the top and bottom too. Her shoes are black 3-inch Mary Jane's.

Race: Neko

Abilities: She has no fighting abilities what so ever she is only on the team for her healing abilities. It takes very little of her energy to heal very dangerous injuries.

Past: When Yukina had been kidnapped Amara had already been there. She was used for pleasure and her healing abilities. If she disobeyed Yukina would be hurt so she never did anything. When they finally got Yukina she told them about Amara since she hadn't been in the room. They went to look for her and found her in a guest room. She was tied to the bed being raped by one of the henchmen. She had a dead look in her eyes but that was just how she dealt with it. They killed the man and tried to help her but she wouldn't let any man touch her. Yukina moved forward and helped. Over the years that she has been with the Renkai she has grown use to men.

Facts: She is in love with Hiei but since she hates herself so much she doesn't allow herself to feel. She thinks that Hiei should never love someone so destroyed as her.

~Oneshot Start~

Have you ever felt dead inside? Broken beyond any repair? Confused as to why you're still alive? If you haven't then you've found your place in the world. Then you've never wanted to die because you hate yourself so much. I've felt all of these. I still feel this way.

I was held captive by demons who wanted my body and my abilities. I was sure that I was there for 3 years. For two years I fought against them every bit of the way until they tired of my attitude and cursed me. This curse made me silent. Though with all of the prisoners they kept one of them was able to remove it. That was just before the 3rd year ended. Soon Yukina showed up. They wanted to do so many evil things to that innocent girl. I protected her best I could. I remember the first and last time I helped her.

_Flashback _

_I heard a rumor from the other captives that a new one was here. That she was an ice maiden. I walked towards her cell. I looked through the small opening and smiled. She was a true beauty. Light blue hair tied back by a red ribbon with bright red eyes. She wore a light blue green kimono and had a very innocent air about her. I tapped on her door and she looked at me. I flicked my ears at her. She giggled. _

"_Hello," I whispered softly. _

"_Hello," she said back. I smiled. _

"_My name is Amara," I said softly. _

"_Yukina," She stated. I nodded. _

"_Are you being held captive too?" she asked. I nodded. _

"_I've been here for 3 years," I said. Her eyes widened. _

"_I can't stand to think of being here for one day let alone 3 years," She said. I chuckled. _

"_Just know that I'll try to protect you the best that I can," I whispered. Her eyes widened when she heard loud footsteps coming towards her cell. I stood there definitely. It was one of the henchmen. He was tall 7 foot with bright green skin. Let's just say he was…very ugly. He smirked. _

"_What are you doing here Amara?" He asked. _

"_I'm not letting you have her Rin," I said. He growled. _

"_Oh and what you're going to stop me?" He said laughing. _

"_I won't fight just take me instead," I whispered. He tensed and looked at me. He then grabbed me and dragged me towards a guest room they use for clients. He locked it and immediately threw me on the bed. He tied me up and lifted my skirt. He pulled off my panties and...Well use your imagination. He was still pounding into me when the door was busted down. I only barely noticed it since I tended to distance myself from things like this. Rin was pulled off me immediately and killed. The red haired one went to remove the ties but I flinched and tried to move away from him. I was looking at him with wide frightened eyes. He moved for me again and I moved away. _

"_No," I whispered dejectedly. His eyes widened. He moved away and went back to the group. I kept half of my focus on them and then the ties. I then heard someone move since my ears flickered at the noise. I turned immediately to see Yukina. I visibly relaxed and smiled at her. _

"_Are you okay?" I asked quietly. She nodded but I noticed the tears in her eyes. _

"_Thank you, you saved me from that man," She said. I chuckled lightly. _

"_A little innocent girl like you shouldn't be subjected to things like that. I'm glad I could help you in some way," I said softly. She then allowed her tears to fall to the ground. I saw a tall man with bright orange hair come close and pick them up for her. I watched him curiously. I then felt Yukina untie me. When I was free I flexed my arms lightly. I stood pushing my skirt down and looked around the room for my panties. I found them in a corner. I frowned and grabbed them. In a swift motion they were back on me. I turned back to Yukina. _

"_I'm glad you're okay Yukina but you need to get out of here," I whispered. She nodded but frowned. _

"_Aren't you coming with us?" She asked. I chuckled and walked so I was in front of her. There was a height difference so I patted her head. _

"_I think not little hime (1). I've realized that some people just can't be saved," I whispered. _

"_You saved me though," She whispered. I chuckled. _

"_I know. I'm not much use in the ways of fighting like these men. I'm more talented in the ways of healing," I said. Her eyes lit up. _

"_I can heal too!" she exclaimed. I smiled at her._

"_That's great little hime. Healing is very important. Don't let anyone tell you any different," I said. I saw the red head come forward. _

"_Come with us, we could use your healing abilities," the red head said. I gave him a curious look, my ears and tail twitching. I nodded. _

"_Okay, if Yukina trusts you then you all must be good," I whispered. I heard a scoff. I looked at the fire demon, the one slightly taller than myself. He was glaring at me but for some reason I didn't feel afraid of him. He seemed to be the most intimidating but it just didn't seem like it to me. From then on I was a member of the Spirit Detectives. _

_End Flashback _

That day, though I didn't realize it until later, I had fallen in love with Hiei, the fire demon. Yukina knows and thinks I should tell him but I don't deserve him. Before I could wallow more in my self-pity I heard a frantic knocking on my door. I stood and opened the door. Kurama was there, the red head, looking very worried.

"Amara we need you. It's Hiei," He said. My eyes widened and I immediately ran towards the infirmary. I heard frantic shouting and growls. I opened the door and was greeted by the sight of all the nurses and doctors moving away from what looked to be a pissed off fire demon. He had a large hole in his stomach and he had cuts everywhere. I could see the wounds were affecting him greatly because his movements were lazy. I watched as the doctors tried to get to him again and he let his fire warn them to stay away. I walked towards his bed. He was ready to lash out at me when he noticed it was me. I saw him calm considerably. I got to his bed and sat next to him. I looked at the nurses and doctors.

"Leave or you'll make it worse and I can't guarantee your safety," I whispered. I knew Hiei was smirking but I ignored it. The doctor looked ready to protest till he noticed how relaxed Hiei was now that I was in here. They all then left. I looked at Hiei.

"You really should let other people heal you Hiei, sometime I won't be here to," I whispered. He scoffed again.

"I would be fine," He growled. I smiled and chuckled. I put my hand on his shoulder and pushed him back. He looked ready to resist but he laid back on the bed. I let my hands hover over his stomach and let myself heal him. He sat still and took slow breaths. When the hole in his stomach was finally gone, a small red spot all that remained, I started on his smaller cuts.

"How are you feeling?" I asked when I finished. He looked at me, his crimson eyes boring into my eyes.

"Fine," He said. I rolled my eyes.

"Right because fine just describes how everyone feels," I said sarcastically. He glared and I just smiled.

"Don't mess with me onna," He growled. I patted his head softly.

"I hope you feel better Hiei," I said. I then stood up and walked out of the room. I leaned against the wall, placing my hand over my pounding heart. I sighed. He could never love me. Don't get caught up in it Amara! I walked down the narrow hallway and towards the main door. I exited and walked forward. I didn't walk too far since I wasn't able too. I was grabbed suddenly. I turned a little bit to see a very large cat demon. He was 6'8 and very muscular. He had black hair to the nape of his neck and bright yellow eyes. He had black cat ears and tail. He wore only a brown loin-cloth and nothing else. My eyes widened. He grinned.

"Hello little kitten," He purred. I didn't reply since I was frozen in fear.

"Oh little one you're scent is so alluring. I can't wait to make you my little mate," He purred again. My eyes got even wider. Finally I unfroze. I screamed.

"HIEI!" I screamed. I heard his voice in my head.

_What onna? _

_Hiei help! This neko man is trying to-_

Before I could reply to his voice the neko man hit me over the head causing me to fall into unconsciousness.

When I woke up I could feel ties around my wrists. I heard the scuffle of feet coming towards the bed. I didn't move. The feet stopped and I heard a door open and close. I opened my eyes slightly. There was no one in this small room. There were no windows, just a bed and a chair along with a metal door. I laid there with my eyes closed just in case he came back.

_Hiei? _

_Onna! Where are you!_

_I don't know…_

_~silence~_

_He wants to make me his mate…_

_~silence~ _

_It doesn't matter…sorry about trying to contact you. Maybe I deserve someone like this…_

_SHUT UP ONNA! _

_Hiei?_

_Why would you say that!_

_It's true…_

_Onna it's not. You've never done a bad thing in your life. I'm a forbidden child I would be the one that deserves that not you. _

_I'm not really myself anymore…I'm barely living Hiei. _

_It doesn't seem like it when you're around me._

_~silence~_

_Onna?_

_~silence~_

_Amara! _

_It's because…._

_What?_

_I'm in love with you…_

_~silence~ _

_I don't deserve to be your mate…I don't deserve anything good…Being this neko man's mate may be exactly what I deserve. _

_Onna…I am the one who wouldn't deserve you…_

_I don't think I'm getting out of here Hiei…I just wanted you to know that…_

_We'll find you Amara. _

_Thank you_

_For what? _

_For calling me by my name…Don't hurt yourself to bad…and let those doctors help you Hiei._

_Amara stop talking like that! _

_~silence~_

_What does it smell like around you?_

_What? Why? _

_Just tell me _

_Smells like an ocean…trees, and cat. _

_Were on our way. _

_What but I don't know where I am!_

_~silence~_

_Hiei?_

_~silence~ _

_Hiei!_

_~silence~ _

I slowly opened my eyes. I looked at my bindings and glared at them. I'm so tired of being helpless. These things aren't even metal. I pulled at them. Silk. I scoffed. Of all the nerve. I pulled my arms forward and ripped the silk. I moved to sit up and pulled the silk off of me. I stood and walked to the door. I turned the knob. It was unlocked. What a moron. I walked out of the room and smelled my way through. I finally came upon a door that seemed the freshest. I opened it and was greeted by the sunlight. I stepped into the light and looked around. He, the neko man, had put me in a small shack on the beach. I turned to see a vast forest. Of course. I then smelled a strong scent of the neko man. My eyes widened. I bolted into the forest.

_Hiei I'm out! _

_Where?_

_I'm in some forest. Can you find me?_

_Yes, I'll be there soon. _

_Hurry Hiei that man is after me! _

I was still running when I smelled a very pungent scent. I stopped. I didn't know what flower it was but I knew it would hide my scent. I picked it and rubbed it against me. Soon I couldn't smell myself. I quickly climbed up a tree and pushed against it. Right as I settled I saw the neko man below the tree. I froze. Oh gods please don't find me. He smelled the air and growled.

_Hiei he's right below me! _

_I'm here_

Right as he said it I saw a black blur. The neko man growled at Hiei.

"Where is she!" He roared. Hiei's gaze didn't move from the man though I knew he saw me.

"It doesn't matter where she is. She is mine," Hiei growled. My heart pounded. What? I saw the neko man's eyes get brighter and the fur on his ears and tail stand on end.

"She is mine now! She has no mating mark!" He growled. Hiei drew his katana. Before the neko man could attack Hiei had already moved and was back in his spot. I watched as the neko man fell to pieces on the ground. I looked back at Hiei and he was staring at me. I jumped down and landed on my feet, like most cats do. I watched as Hiei's eyes raked up my form. Probably for injuries. I walked towards him. Before I could speak he grabbed me and picked me up like a bride. He then ran back to the house the team shared. I looked up to watch his face. He had a face blank of emotions but his eyes were flickering with so many emotions. I wanted to know what he was feeling. I then saw a look of understanding come onto his face. His gaze flickered down to me, catching my eyes. There was no emotion, except astonishment, on my face. He finally let me down when he stopped. Before I could say a word he was gone. I bit my lip in frustration. Hiei what did you mean by that? Was it because you feel something for me…or was it to keep the neko man away? I frowned and walked into the house. I noticed Yukina when I walked in. She was seated in the living by the table, sitting on her knees, drinking tea. I thought that Kuwabara would be by her but she was by herself. She noticed me and smiled. She patted the seat next to her. I walked over and sat down. She grabbed a cup and poured tea into it for me. I thanked her and sipped at it.

"What's wrong?" Yukina asked. I smiled sadly.

"I'm just confused," I whispered. She looked at me worried.

"Confused about what?" She asked. I shook my head.

"Hiei," I whispered. She smiled knowingly.

"Did you tell him?" She asked. I nodded. She frowned.

"What did he say?" She asked again. I then told her about the neko man and what Hiei had said. She was grinning widely.

"He must love you Amara! Mr. Hiei would never say stuff like that unless he meant it!" she exclaimed. I smiled at her and patted her head.

"Thanks Yukina but I think I'm going to let him decide," I whispered. I then stood and walked to my room. I entered and walked over to the chair by my window. I sat down and looked out. I laid my head against the sill and fell asleep, basking in the sunlight.

When I woke up I felt contently warm, more so then I usually do. I snuggled closer to the warmth, since that was why I was so warm. I then realized that it wasn't a pillow or blankets but a person. My head was on his chest, that I could tell was defined, and my hands on his chest. I blinked and looked up at the man groggily. It was Hiei. I blinked surprised. I studied his face. He looked so innocent. His eyes were closed and his chest was moving in a steady rhythm letting me know he was still asleep. There was no glare, no hatred coming from him in his state of unconsciousness. I lifted a hand and stroked his cheek gently. His skin was very soft and warm. I frowned. Why is he in my bed? When did I get in my bed? I was thinking so hard I didn't notice the crimson orbs staring at me. I heard a chuckle so I looked up my eyes wide. Hiei was staring at me with an unguarded expression. I pouted.

"Why did you laugh?" I asked. He chuckled again.

"You're face…you looked so frustrated," He said. I glared at him lightly but it was ruined by a smiling making it onto my face.

"So…why are you in my bed?" I asked. He yawned.

"I came in here to speak to you and found you asleep. I put you in your bed but you wouldn't let go of me so I was stuck in here," He said begrudgingly. I bit my lip. So he wasn't in here on purpose.

"What did you want to talk to me about?" I asked. He frowned and started to think. A look of realization came onto his face.

"I came to ask you…about…what you said yesterday," He said. I stared at him hard. I noticed a slight red flush across his face. I then realized he was blushing.

"What did I say yesterday? I think I spoke a lot actually," I whispered staring into his eyes. His eyes bore right back into mine.

"When you said you loved me…was it true?" He asked softly, something I didn't think he was capable of. I smiled.

"Of course it was Hiei. I wouldn't lie to you," I said back softly. I then saw something I had never seen before. A real smile spread across his face. My eyes widened. Hiei looked so vulnerable…innocent.

"How?" He asked so quietly I almost didn't hear it.

"How what Hiei?" I asked back just as soft.

"How can you love someone like me?" He said. He had pain showing through his eyes. I stroked his cheek with my hand.

"To be honest…I don't know. When I met you I wasn't afraid. You had an air of intimidation around you but for some reason I wasn't scared of you. I didn't realize until a little while back that I had fallen in love with you. I just feel a huge pull to you. I feel…calm around you. I feel special. I've noticed that you calm down when I'm around you as well," I whispered letting my eyes say my truth. He searched my gaze trying to find some semblance of a lie but he failed.

"I love you and every day it gets stronger," I said. Before he could speak I leaned forward and kissed him. He was shocked so I didn't keep it long. I pulled away. I smiled at him sadly.

"I don't understand how anyone would want to be with me Hiei. I'm telling you I love you because I already know that I will be rejected. When you do I know that just being close to you is enough," I whispered. His eyes widened. He grabbed my hand, the one stroking his cheek, and brought it to his lips to kiss.

"When I met you I didn't understand what I felt. I thought it was some power. I didn't realize what I felt until that damn neko tried to take you away. I felt an unfamiliar feeling and I realized it was jealousy and a huge amount of anger. How dare that damn cat take what was mine. I hadn't even realized I had thought it until after you told me. I finally realized that i…to have fallen in love with you Amara," He growled. My eyes widened and tears welled up. He loves me?

"You can't…You can't love me!" I exclaimed. I shot up from the bed and bolted out of my room. I ran down the stairs and out the door. I didn't make it far before I was caught in a pair of arms that were like steel. I thrashed and squirmed to get out but the arms stayed strong. Tears finally rolled down my face.

"You can't….You can't….I'm not worth it. I'm broken and damaged. I've been used and I don't deserve anyone," I cried. I was spun around and forced to look into anger filled eyes.

"Stop it! You're damaged but you're not broken. If you were broken you never would have tried to save Yukina or try to get away from that man. If you were broken you wouldn't be fighting against me! Yes you were used but you stayed strong. I don't care if your damaged I can fix you. Don't think that just because you were hurt that you can't be happy. I love you Amara," He said. I shook my head slowly and wrapped my arms around him. I buried my head in his chest to let out my tears. I cried for my taken innocence and all the horrible things that happened to me. I let Hiei hold me as I did this. I pulled away when my tears had stopped so I could look into his eyes. I don't know how long we kept our gazes locked but it didn't matter. He leaned down and sealed his lips with mine. I immediately kissed him back. My lips that had gotten cold from outside got warm from his. There was a slow burn, not a spark or fireworks, just a fire slowly spreading throughout my body. It left a craving trail in its wake. Hiei pulled my small lithe form closer to his body subjecting me to his body heat. When the need for air became too great we pulled away though our lips clung to each other's. I looked up into his eyes with my half-lidded ones. His eyes usually so cold and filled with hate were filled with love and an underlying speck of lust.

"Be my mate," He stated so softly that I thought I imagined it. He repeated.

"Be my mate," He said a little bit louder. My eyes widened. I smiled at him.

"Of course Hiei," I whispered. I then leaned up and kissed him to seal the deal.

~Epilogue~

"Mommy!" Kiki, my 9 year old fire neko daughter, yelled. I smiled as she hid behind my legs.

"What did you do this time little one?" I asked softly. She giggled.

"Well uncle Yusuke showed me this trick! He said you take a bottle of something called hair dye and put it in a bottle of shampoo and shake it up so it changes a person's hair color! Uncle Yusuke told me to do it to daddy's!" She exclaimed. My eyes widened. I tried to sense for my mate and came up with nothing. That means he doesn't know yet. I looked down at her.

"Your father is not going to be happy with you Kiki," I stated. She frowned.

"Uncle Yusuke said that daddy wouldn't get mad at me," She stated. Tears welled up in her eyes and she started to hiccup. I sighed and patted her head.

"What color?" I asked. She gave me a questioning look. She then smiled.

"Pink!" She exclaimed. I put my hand over my mouth and tried not to laugh.

"Your father is going to be so mad," I said.

"Why would I be mad?" Hiei, my mate of 10 years, asked. I looked at him and tried to stop my laughter but I failed. He frowned.

"Y-You're hair," I sputtered. His eyes widened. He bolted from the room only to come back moments later. He had a deadly glare on his face. His hair which use to be black as night with a white starburst running through it was now a bubble gum pink. He looked at a crying Kiki and new.

"Yusuke right?" He asked. I nodded. Hiei bent down and opened his arms for Kiki to go to. She immediately went into his arms and wrapped her small arms around his neck. He stood back up and patted her back.

"It's okay Kiki. Your uncle is to blame," He said. She smiled.

"He said it was temporary," she stated. I sighed in relief. Hiei and I hate pink but little Kiki loves it. I felt a sharp kick to my mid-section so I patted it lovingly. Hiei's gaze immediately went to my stomach. He sat Kiki down and walked over to me pulling me into his arms. He leaned down and kissed me. He pulled away a couple seconds later.

"Good morning Amara," He said kissing my forehead. He then bent down and kissed my protruding stomach. I was once again pregnant. I'm supposed to give birth in a couple weeks too twins, both boys.

"Hello babies," He said. He then stood back up to pull me back into his arms. I turned so I could go back to cooking breakfast. Kiki had already sat at the table in her chair. Hiei placed his chin on my shoulder his mouth next to my ear.

"I love you Amara," He whispered. I smiled and leaned back against his strong chest.

"I love you too Hiei," I said. I then finished making breakfast. I leaned my head back and kissed him again.

"Forever Hiei," I whispered. He smiled.

"Always Amara," He whispered back.

The End

(1): for those that don't know Hime means princess.


End file.
